Happy Thursday to you.
May this day be the best day of your life. This is a wonderful day because I believe it to be.
My daughter and I are at the bookstore. She is reading independently while I write my daily entry. She is reading Richard Wright, "Black Boy". She will write about what she read thereafter, and we will discuss and may even post it in her blog.
I consider myself a "Reading Specialist". I know what it takes to be an excellent reader, and eventually enjoy reading.
Is it hard or the word I prefer to use, challenging? Is there some big secret or mystery to it?
The answer to both of the above questions is a resounding NO. It takes time but most importantly it MUST be a priority.
What is a priority?
Priority-the state or quality of being earlier in time, occurrence, etc;something given special attention.
Attention-a state of consciousness characterized by such concentration;a capacity to maintain selective or sustained concentration.
Allow me to share with you that I tutor children with learning problems. One day I had a mother inquire about me tutoring her daughter. According to this mother, her nine (9) year old daughter is significantly under performing in school. This child is presently in the fourth (4th) grade, and she has an upcoming writing segment on the FCAT that she has to complete in March of 2010. The FCAT is Florida's Comprehensive Assessment Test. All children in Florida's public schools are required to be tested to ascertain their acquired skills.
Moreover, her mother advocated that she is concerned that her child will fail this portion of the test, as well as others. She told me that her daughter does not care about school and that she HATES reading. Oh my.
I told this mother that I need to "test" her daughter to ascertain where she is in her "skills and focus levels". I told the mother what I would charge her for these "tests".
Now allow me to reiterate. A nine year old child hates school. She is underperforming to the point that her mother believes, without intervention, her daughter may fail the FCAT and eventually, the fourth grade.
I received a call yesterday from this mother. She told me that she does NOT have the money to spend on her daughter's education. Why? Because her daughter's birthday is January 1, 2010, and she will be spending all of her money on this party for her daughter. She went on.."this is Christmas season, so I have gifts to buy and the party". "Do you understand what I am saying?" Huh.
Did I miss something? This child is failing in school. This child may fail the FCAT, and the fourth grade, and her mother is concerned about gifts and a party. Ok. This can not be real. I thought it was a joke, and I was waiting for the mother to tell me that she was kidding. So I waited. And I waited.
Finally, I asked this mother, do you understand what a priority is? I told her "You have to make decision as to what is most important parties, gifts or your CHILD. You have to invest in your child like you invest in your hair (weaves). Your child should be the priority. What good is all the toys in the world if your child fails the fourth grade and her self-esteem plummeted?"
The mother was quiet, then she responded "you are right. I guess I will will have some money for her testing. I will let you know Friday".
I was floored. In fact, I am still on the floor, while writing this entry. (:) This Black mother's priority is obviously misplaced. Why would anyone waste money on "parties" and "toys" when your baby is failing school? Would it not be better and more useful to speak with your child and explain that "a party is not a priority but her education is much more important", so the available money "this season" will be spent on a tutor to help remedy your deteriorating education skills, instead of toys and parties?
Am I on another planet? This is NOT hard, difficult, problematic, challenging or even onerous. It 's just a matter of prioritizing.
Education is conspicuously more important than toys. Education is more important than a party. Why is this so complicated for so many parents, especially most Black mothers. They would much rather spend money on hair weaves, nails, clothes, shoes, and other "buttery" items.(remember butter items are the things that "melts away). While sustaining deeds, such as excelling in school, are "lifetime gifts".
So what does all of this mean? It is important in this life to understand what is MOST important. So if you have a scale, I suggest you "weigh" your priorities. In other words, you take what is most important in your life and the "other things". Put the "important stuff" on one side of the scale and the "other stuff" on the other side. Watch the scale and see which side weighs the most in YOUR life. But you first must understand what "important" means.
Important-of much or great significance or consequence;mattering much.
Education-the act or process of imparting or acquiring general knowledge, developing the powers of reasoning and judgment, and generally of preparing oneself or others intellectually for mature life.
Party-a social gathering, as of invited guests at a private home, for conversation, refreshments, entertainment, etc.
I hope you have a day in which it is about making important decisions. What will you choose as a priority?
Have a great day.
L. for Love
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Prioritizing goes hand in hand with the topic you touched the other day about "Truthtelling". It requires honesty with oneself, and the capacity to say no to negative social pressures. Like this mother that you mentioned, sometimes people need a little push in the right direction, but it's up to them to follow through. When we are honest with ourselves is not that hard.
ReplyDeletePeople have to be taught how to think thus how to be honest with self. Some can learn on their own but most have to be taught.
ReplyDeleteThe mother was probably more concered with her self image than anything. How good she would feel about herself that she gave her daughter the party and the toys. Also it could be a way to buy her child's love and or a way to assist in the managing of her child. The woman may see her daughter as a lost cause. So why spend the money on education may have been her thinking. The mother may not have good parenting skills. Her child did not come with a how to video and the woman did not want to spend the money to rent a how to raise your child video. The woman may not have even known there was a video to rent.
People are quick to stand on their own understanding that they feel is much yet proving they know little. In one way or another in a different situation we have all been there learning from trial and error. Some realize that learning from others mistakes is much better but most just keep on learning the hard way or not at all.