Children Live What They Learn-Day 32

Happy Tuesday. This is another wonderful day, because I believe it is. The mind is truly powerful. It will believe whatever you convince it to believe. You make the choice. I choose life. What do you choose?

I have shared with you many experiences about my childhood. But I need to share with you my given disposition as a child. I was convinced that I was a "mean" little girl. My father, unbeknowing to him, had convinced me of this. How? Why?

Child-a person between birth and full growth; a boy or girl:

Mean-hostile, rude

When I was a child, my father would call me his "mean little red girl". My skin tone was light skinned, so that was the reference to red. But "mean", he called me this all of the time. As a matter of fact, I remember this word redundantly used by other members of my family as well to describe me. I do not know why my dad called me mean, I just remember this word used to depict me.

Please keep in mind that I was this little five year old child, and my dad proclaiming that I am mean. Was I suppose to ask...Dad why are you calling me mean? I just accepted what he said and I believed that I was mean. So I acted out the description of the label my dad had given me. I acted mean. I would not smile, and I basically stayed to myself. I was taught to be mean.

A child lives what she learns. I was not born mean. I was convinced at an early age that I was "mean spirited", so as I forementioned, I acted out. My disposition was that when I responded to people, they would know that I was "mean". Because, whatever you teach a child, that is what he/she will believe, and eventually live.

For all of my teenage life and up until I had my daughter, I fought this "mean" label. I now know that I am whatever that I believe that I am. I am love and I am not mean. I have love for my fellow man, my family, and all human beings on the face of the earth. I do not hate anyone. I finally convinced myself that I was NOT mean in adulthood.

Why am I sharing this with you? Good question. I am sharing this with you because children live what they are taught. When you witness African American children focusing on the rap music lyrics rather than reading, writing and Arith-Matic, you see them living what they have learned. Dancing, rapping and partying, appear to be more important than education, in their homes. Or you may notice that many of these children constantly fight. Many of them display lack of love because many of them do not know love. I know that I did not know love, as a child.

I repeat, children live what they learn. My daughter have visited different community centers where the children were primarily African Americans. What do most of these children do? insult eachother, instigate fights and display an attitude of contempt. Why? This is what they have learned from most of the adults that they emulate.

I refuse to take my daughter to a primarily A.A. school or community center. My daughter does not want to be at most centers with most A.A. children. Many of the children are violent. Most people will NOT admit this to you. But it is true. Why do you think when an A.A. parent is financially able to move out of a majority A.A. neighborhood, she/he take their children to a predominately Caucasian school? The Black parent is looking for some "order" and "respect", which is rarely found in A.A. schools. Why?

Again, examine the home life. Children are NOT born bad. They are not born violent. Children are love, but it is what they are learning in their homes and they emulate the behavior. When you see a troubled child. Most times,there is a troubled home life. The two generally go hand in hand. I had a troubled home life, as a child. My disposition of being "mean" was learned and displayed in my actions. This was who I was told that I was, and I believed it. Now let me say here that my father was not intentionally trying to hurt me. He reared his children the best way he knew how. My father's actions were based upon the knowledge he acquired. His actions were not diabolical. But ignorance can be a vicious cycle until someone, somewhere begins to question the events and ask.....WHY?

Why do I fight? Why do I insult people? Why do I laugh at others? Why do I intentionally want to hurt someone? Why don't I love?

Children live what they learn. What are children learning in your home?

Have a great day.

L. for Love