Another Teenager is DEAD-Day 44

Good morning. This is a somewhat dreary morning for my daughter and me. Yesterday, or the day before, we read about the teenager fatally beaten outside his southside Chicago highschool. What is going on? Can someone tell me?

Another life is gone. For what? Why? Who did it? Whose next?

This is the all too familiar story of Black life in the inner cities. This is Black on Black crime. I ask....where is Mr. Sharpton or Rev. Jackson? This is where their presence is needed.

This is what I know...Derrion Albert was a sixteen year old honor student. Just knowing this, you can infer that he studied and did not waste his time, like the others, that fatally beat him. Derrion wanted to do and make something of his life. He was different. He stood out. According to report, he was "picked on" quite frequently. The "thugs were probably jealous of him, because he had positive plans for his life, and not a life planned that was full of crime and dismay.

Moreover, there was a melee outside of his school. The "thugs" were swinging wooden planks. A thug intentionally hit Derrion, in his head, with the plank, and knocked him to the ground. When Derrion tried to get up, and recover from being struck, he was intentionally struck again, and stomped in the head. Derrion died.

Why?

What are we creating in our communities? Why won't someone talk loud about this? The thugs that killed Derrion are the norm and NOT the exception.

Where are the Black voices of America NOW? Who is marching for Derrion? Who speaks for this gifted young man?

I want to say this that the time is over for complaining about what "the white" man is doing to us and start realizing the destruction we have brought upon ourselves. We find excuses for all of our failures, never taking responsibility for our own inactions. We prefer to find blame. It is easier. It makes us feel better to know that all of our failures can be blame on others and NOT ourselves.

Well know this..that YOU are to blame for Derrion's death, black people. These "thugs", have no respect for life because they have no love and respect for themselves. This vicious violence will continue and even deteriorate, if YOU (Black people) continue to do NOTHING, and wait for "others" to save us. No one can save us from ourselves.

Black young people kill because they have no love in them. How can a person show love when all they know is disdain? How can a child display love when, most times, he has probably been rejected by his own father? How can a child show love when he gets nothing but angry responses from the people in his community? Where is the Love?

Black people, I have a message for you. "YOU" KILLED DERRION. And what is even sadder is the fact that the "killings" will continue.

To the parents of Derrion: May your son, rest in peace, and know that at least, one life will be different because he lived. Our condolences we bestow upon you and we will keep you in our prayers.

R.I.P. Derrion.

Take Responsibility for your children,


L. for Love

What....You mean I have to "Work"? Day 43

Hello and Happy Tuesday. This is a wonderful day. My daughter and I are at the computer room. She is typing her blog and I am typing mine. Part of her school assignment is to write a daily blog. This will help with her writing skills as well as build confidence as she articulates her position. She must also read NO LESS than 90 minutes per day. I explained to her that if she can sit and watch a movie for two (2) hours, she can invest time exercising her brain, which is more important than watching movies or playing games.

Moreover, moving straight ahead. I would like to discuss work ethics with you. What is work?

Work-exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something;something on which exertion or labor is expended; a task or undertaking.

Now since it is understood that work is exertion, and/or effort to produce or accomplish something, the question is if you want to accomplish something, whatever it may be, do you understand that you have to work?

Let me start with the body. The human body is made up of muscles. If you do not use these muscles they will get soft. However, if yu work them by exercising, they will be tone. This is a fact. There is NO in betweens. Of course the younger you are, the more tone and firm the body is. But however, as the human body ages, to maintain a tone body, we must work it.

Muscles-a tissue composed of cells or fibers, the contraction of which produces movement in the body.

Now, you may be wondering, is my body tone? I plead the fifth. (LOL)I do work on my body. I have to work on it or I will be a mushy mess.

Now the mind. Does the human brain need work?

Brain-the part of the central nervous system enclosed in the cranium of humans and other vertebrates, consisting of a soft, convoluted mass of gray and white matter and serving to control and coordinate the mental and physical actions.

Exercise-a putting into action, use, operation, or effect:bodily or mental exertion.

Now the next you may have is how do you exercise the brain? According to Jean Lawrence, "Almost everyone has heard of the "fog of war," but the "fog of living" is depression. "Depression affects memory and effectiveness (not to mention the ability to get up, get dressed, and function)," Anderson says. "If you can control your physiology, you can relax, focus, and remember."

In a study reported in the Journal of Sports Medicine and Physical Fitness in 2001, 80 young male and female volunteers were tested for mood and then did aerobics for an hour. Of the 80, 52 were depressed before the exercise. That group was the most likely to benefit, reporting a reduction in anger, fatigue, and tension. They also felt more vigorous after the workout." (Train Your Brain with Exercise, by Jean Lawrence)

So there we have it, exercise/work not only helps with toning your body but also helps with toning your mind. But I would like to add something here and now. My favorite exercise for the mind is READING. Yep...reading is really the absolute BEST exercise for the mind.

You want a tone and vigorous mind? READ. READ. READ. Especially the children.

Have a grand day, and please work the brain and body.

L. for Love

"Don't you know dese people gon rob you?" Day 42

Hello to you. I wish you happiness and love. Have a wonderful day and work week.

I would like to share with you an incident that happened to me when I visited Liberty City, in Miami, Florida. This incident happened summer of 2008.

I was taking names of people that were interested in working. I went into the corner stores, and I found many people in this area, just standing around, doing nothing. The stores are owned primarily by other ethnic groups. But anyway, I would stand at the entrance of the door and ask people, as they would come into to the store, if they were interested in working. I was there from about 12:00p.m., until 6:p.m.

However, as I was taking the names and numbers of the interested people, this one particular girl, who appeared to be lesbian, by the way she was dressed, asked me did I have any one with me, assisting in taking the names. When I responded "no". She immediately stared at me and said..."girl..wha chu doing here by yourself..don't you know dese people gon rob you?"

WHAT?

I was shocked and dismayed simultaneously that she could make such a bold statement.

Why?

Because it displayed what this girl thought of the people in her community. Her perception of them is that they are criminals with no good intentions. However, you look at this, she had tried to warn me that I should NOT be in her neighborhood. The people in Liberty City, will bring harm to me, was her warning. WOW.

I pondered on her statement for quite some time. I thought if she felt this way, how many other people feel the same way, and what about the children? How do the children in Liberty City feel about their community?

Do "they" believe that the people there are mostly criminals? If the children do believe this, what do they look forward to? Are the children in Liberty City... future "little criminals" waiting their turn? Analyze this.

If you have children who see criminals and thugs all day, how do you expect "these" children to turn out? What is the future for these children?

We have already established that children live what they learn. If "these" children learn crime, they are more likely than not..future criminals. Criminals are created not born. No child is born a criminal. They are a product of their enviroment. A product of an enviroment where they see crime committed on a daily basis. Where love and respect are just words thrown around like dirty laundry.

This past weekend, my daughter and I went to the cinema to see the movie "Fame". One of the characters is a Black male. He is always angry. His anger is acknowledged by his instructor. Why is this Black male angry?

I discussed this very subject with my daughter. You know what her (my daughter's) response was? "I know..."they" (Black males) are most always angry."

Black ghettos are creating criminals. This is a fact. This CAN NOT be factually disputed. It is like a manufacturing plant. Whatever is produced at the plant will be the final product. Crime is produced is most predominately Black areas. As a result, the older criminals produce younger criminals. The cycle is ongoing.

How do we resolve these problems? Another good question. My answers?

Education. Education. Education. Responsibilty. Responsibility. Responsibility. Televisions should be removed from all of the homes in the area replaced by books. The males should be required to wear belts in their pants. They should received a citation if their pants are not on the waist. All males 16 years of age and older MUST work, if they are not in school. Profanity prohibited in public places.

This is a beginning of what I like to call "Solutions for Black Youth". We have to start somewhere. Because I guarantee you if nothing is done....the "production line" will continue to produce the criminals that create hell for us all.

Think about it.

L. for Love

A Frank Question-Day 41

Hello. I hope you are having a great day. Enjoy it.

I shared with you yesterday about my day with my daughter at Barnes & Noble. But what I did not share was that I received an email from PJTV, Andrew Klavan. Basically, he asked "are you a racist"? Then he went on to ask "which group of people in America has consistently underperformed" in almost every aspect of life?

I said to myself..."oh my goodness, he is talking about Black people". I just knew it. Excellent question, I thought to myself. I immediately turned to my daughter to ask her the question above, and I asked for her honest answer. She immediately responded "Black people".

But as of today, I now know that Mr. Klavan was NOT speaking directly of Black People, he was speaking of entertainers in Hollywood. I still believe that he was speaking of Black people, he just used entertainers as a substitute. I found his question very intriguing and profound for other reasons.

I believe if you ask most anyone the question below, the answer will be the same.

Which group of people in the American melting pot has consistently underperformed in intelligence, education, hard work, personal responsibility, and self reliance?

Let's be blunt and honest. Tell me which group of people comes to YOUR mind. I will not be offended at all. I like truth and honesty. I believe all Black people, in America, need to ask themselves this question. As a matter of fact, there was a Black couple sitting at the table behind ours, in Barnes & Noble. I turned to them, smiled and requested their permission to ask them the question. I asked. This couple responded.

They both answered "Black people".

If I know it and the couple know it, and YOU know it. Why don't THEY know it? You may ask know what? Good question. Let me answer.

Know that Black people are underperforming and our culture has denigrated to "barbaric classes" of American society. Most Black people want something for nothing. Most consistently underperform in most every aspect of American life.

This is the sad truth but I know it, and I don't pretend I don't see it. We all see it.

Have a great day.

L. for Love

Talking Loud and Saying NOTHING-Day 40

Happy Friday. This is another wonderful day. My daughter and I went to Barnes & Noble ( the book store). We studied electricity today. We studied protons, neutrons and electrons. Did you know that my daughter loved it? We looked up words in the dictionary. My daughter drew pictures to illustrate her position, on the subject. It was a blast. My daughter loves learning, and I enjoy learning with her. With that said, I want to share with you my position on people talking loud and saying nothing. Have you ever encountered a person or persons?

Let's say you are enjoying your favorite book quietly, sitting in a store, then all of a sudden, some person (s) comes up very loud and boisterous. Make you wonder why does he/she has to be so loud. My daughter and I have discussed this topic many times, too numerous to mention. We keep coming back to why.

We wonder why are many Black people, especially women, so loud. Why? It is not necessary to announce your pending presence to the entire world. We can see you coming, although many may ignore you. Everybody in the room, or wherever it may be can see you.
Being loud only displays ignorance. If it is attention you are lacking, being loud only encourages people to give you negative attention. Instead, if you walk in quiet and sensical, you will probably get more attention than you want.

Think of it this way:

Say you are in Starbucks. You are enjoying that hot cup of lattee or whatever your choice of drink may be. You are reading the morning newspaper, when all of a sudden, you hear this loud laughing and conversating group coming toward your table. What would you want to do? Stay? or Leave?

Now I tell you without any hesitation, I would probably gather my personal belongings and "haul off" to the farthest table away from this loud group.

Now on the otherhand, if the group came in respectful and quiet. I would be very curious about this group. I would remain seated and probably observe them. Most people enjoy being in the presence of "thinking" people who know how to respect others, not "non-thinking" people, who somehow rationalize that being loud will get them the "positive attention" they desire.

These people are, in my humble opinion, "talking loud and saying NOTHING." So please be respectful when you go into any place of business, where others are trying to enjoy their moment there as well. Lower your voice. WE SEE YOU.

Have a wonderful weekend.

L. for Love.

Pt. II-An Open Ltr to Rev. Jesse Jackson-Solutions-Day 39

Happy Thursday to everyone. I hope you have a wonderful day. Yesterday was not a very good day for me. Let me tell you what I went through. First, I am presently renting a room in a house. A lady advertised "rooms available" on Craigslist. It was presented in a neat pretty package. The house is in a very nice neighborhood. However, the place is hell on earth.

Tuesday night, after working most of the day, I went home only to find that someone had kicked in my door. The lady, who rented me the room, had initially claimed to be the owner, told me that the new owner needed to get in my room, and he kicked the door in, breaking my lock. I was mortified. I immediately called the police, and made a report of it. I also took pictures of this crime scene. This nightmare goes on to prove that things are NOT always what they appear to be.

So anyways,yesterday, a kind and gentle soul assisted me and my daughter by placing a new deadbolt lock on my bedroom door. THANK YOU. This deadbolt lock should secure OUR belongings until we move. Living in this place has been a living hell on earth. But we must move forward. It is important to remember that we must go through the rain in order to see the rainbow. My daughter and I are going through a severe storm, torrential rains. I know there is light coming at the end of this tunnel. I just hope sooner rather than later.

If any of you know someone that has a room for rent in a safe and secure neighborhood, please kindly keep us in mind. We need peace.

Moreover, today I want to continue my letter to Rev. Jesse Jackson. I want to focus on solutions that I recommend for some of the ills plaguing the Black community.

Dear Rev. Jackson:

I hope this communiation find youin the best of health and spirit. Moreover, as I stated in my most recent open letter to you, there are many catastrophic ills plaguing the Black community. Our children have almost nothing to be proud of, in this present day, except President Obama, gaining the whitehouse. However, I would like to make some suggestions to you that I believe will have a positive impact.

I suggest that you inform Black people that they should focus more on education, and less on sports and other entertainment thatjust basically eat away at their time, while giving very little, if at all, any residuals. I also suggest that you study the Jewish and Latin cultures. Albeit, many of these groups live in America, they maintain their own customs and traditions. Many of these groups know their history. They have networking groups to systematically assure other members of their group are always in position to asist one another. The Jews and Latinos encourage education and self help. They open their own businesses because they understand real wealth is in ownership and not working for others.

Black people need direction and strong men. Most of the Black males, in America, are weak. Many Black people go to church regularly, and pretend that they are obeying the Bible. The Bible says that man is the head of the house. So if man is the head of the house, and in the Black homes, there is NO MAN, then who is the "head" of the household in most Black homes?

The Black males have abandoned the family. As a result, the Black family has been weaken. There is no strong authoritative figure in the home. The structure of the Black family is mostly women and children. This is unacceptable. No one, including you, is taking a stand and admitting this fact, and more importantly doing something about it. The fact can not be disputed that Black males have abandoned the family. The Black family is powerless.

Abandon-to leave completely and finally; to give up; discontinue; withdraw from.

Weak-not strong; liable to yield, break, or collapse under pressure or strain; fragile; frail: not having much political strength, governing power, or authority:

Man-an adult male person, as distinguished from a boy or a woman;a male having qualities considered typical of men or appropriately masculine.

So I suggest that any Black male that gets a girl pregnant, marries that girl. I suggest that they wear their pants pulled up to their with a belt in tact. Graduating from highschool should be expected and a four year degree should be required. I suggest we raise the level of expectations for the Black males.

Rev. Jackson, we need need MEN not just males, as is clearly distinguishable in the choices they make. Black people do not need the males wearing their pants down to their ankles, disrespecting, themselves as well as anyone that look upon them. We need real men responsible courageous "thinkers", planners, visionaries, and leaders.

Black people do not have many men, and as a result, we have become third class citizens in a coountry where our forefathers were slaves, and built this country. We have absolutely nothing to show for their work. We are raising a generation of illiterates and no one is saying anything about it. Black people have become almost irrelevant. This is the hurtful and painful truth.

What are you doing about this Rev. Jackson? Black people need action NOW, not mere words, to make us feel good. We can hear words, we need to see action.

Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,


L. for Love

An Open Letter to Rev. Jesse Jackson-Day 38

Happy Tuesday. I hope this is the best day of your life. Below is a letter that I wrote to Jessie Jackson. I would hope that I will hear from him with a sincere response.


Dear Rev. Jackson:

I hope this communication find you and your family in the best of health and spirit. Moreover, this letter is written to you out of a grave concern that I have for Black Americans.

I am a Black female, and I reside in South Florida. What I see happening here is a travesty. Black Americans have been denigrated to the status of third class citizens. The hispanics and other Latin American citizens have come here, a foreign land, and surpassed Black Americans in every positive category.

They have acquired economic wealth, political power, and they have an outstanding networking system in place, where they help eachother maintain this dominance.

Prior to segregation, Black people would help eachother. They were almost forced to. Black children had "role models" in their community they could emulate. These "role models" would encouraged the children and young adults to reach for their dreams. Now the children turn to rappers and many agressive atheletes.

Black males have the highest numbers of any ethnic group in prison. There are so many Black males in prison that they are building prisons to housed them faster than they are building universities to educate them. This is a national crisis.

Now let me say that I liked Michael Jackson. I pray for his children and his family, in their lost of him. But The crisis in the Black community is much more important, and I ask where are you and what are you doing about it?

Black people in South Florida are barely surviving. Many are homeless seeking shelter, wherever they can find it, and I ask you again, where are you? Did you know that the economics in South Florida is dominated and controlled by the Latinos? Do you know that we are suffering beyond your imagination? Federal and state laws are being violated here. Where are you?

I ask you Mr. Jackson, these relevant questions because I want to know. Is your absence a result of the fact that there are no cameras here? No photo opportunity?

Mr. Jackson, are you a Black leader? If yes, what are your responsibilities and duties to Black people? If no, please advise as to whom I should direct my questions and/or concerns. As I have no idea who are the Black leaders in America. As you may be aware, the Bible says "a people without vision will perish"? Is this the reason Black people are in peril?

No Leadership.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,


L. for Love
American Citizen

An Open Letter to the President of U.S.-Day 37

Dear Mr. President:

I hope this communication find you and your family in the best of health and spirit. Moreover, I am a proud United States citizen. I live in South Florida.

I want to write to you to tell you that my family and I are very very proud of you and your family. We are proud that you have let the world know that "skin color" is truly only skin deep and not the essence of any human being.

Your color has not stopped you from getting an education, being responsible for your family, and/or achieving success beyond the wildest dreams of most Americans. "Yes we can". We can see in your accomplishments some of the significant individual features of what Dr. Martin Luther King envisioned while risking his life and the lives of his family while struggling for basic civil rights for Black Americans. The dignity to be recognized as a human being.

Sometimes, however, I still wonder if most Black people understand the significance of your presidency. I wonder if they truly understand that you represent more than just a "Black man" who won the presidency of these United States. You represent that a brain has no color barrier. Knowledge knows no racism. Responsibility is not indifferent to the color of skin. So I respectfully ask you Mr. President, why are most Black neighborhoods, to this day, considered ghettos? Why are so many Black teens dropping out instead of dropping in school? Why are so many Black males irresponsible by turning a blind eye toward literacy? Why are most Black children reared by a female? Why are so many Black males in prison? Why do most Black males, with children, abandon their young? Why do most Black males have more knowledge about sports than politics, which affects their daily lives?
Why are Blacks so loud and boisterous? Why are Black Males so agressive/violent. Why do Black males kill eachother? Why do Black children feel so "unloved"?

Why Mr. President? We love you and your family. You are like our Black King and your wife, and our First lady, is like our Queen. But your family is an atom in the scheme of the "whole". We need to address these serious ills, that appears from my vantage, Black people, are pretending do not exist. We need to address why Black children have very little to be proud of.

I would also like to ask you another question, who are the "leaders" for the Black people?

Well, I understand that you are the president for all Americans and not just Black Americans. But sometimes it appears that YOU are one of a handful of Black people that can honestly be to ascended to "role model". There are so few, they can honestly be classified as endangered species.

Thank you again Mr. President for giving hope to the hopeless. We love you, and wish you much success. However, too few of us realize that you can not do it alone. So I ask you how can Black people elevate themselves before it is too late?



Much love and success,

L. for Love

What Is An Opportunity? Day 36

What Is An Opportunity?

Hello. I hope this day is filled with joy and prosperity for you and your family. Reach for the stars, you might just touch one. But if you reach for nothing, you are guaranteed NOT to reach them.

I choose life. I choose happiness. I choose love.

Moreover, do you know what an opportunity is?

Opportunity-an appropriate or favorable time or occasion:a situation or condition favorable for attainment of a goal.

Why do many people seek to come to America? Is it the name of the country? Is it the beautiful cars? Is the hamburgers? What makes this country so unique from most all other countries in the world?

Are people trying to gain entry into China, Iraq, Russia, North Korea or even Mexico? Why not?

Opportunity. This is the answer. Most people, at least, want to have the opportunity to have control over their own destiny. They want to have the freedom of controlling their own lives. America gives people this opportunity. The Constitution guarantees every citizen inalienable rights: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Life-the general or universal condition of human existence: the course of existence or sum of experiences and actions that constitute a person's existence.

Liberty-freedom from arbitrary or despotic government or control;freedom from control, interference, obligation, restriction, hampering conditions, etc.; power or right of doing, thinking, speaking, etc., according to choice.

If we carefully analyze each of the definitions above, we should began to see a picture formulate. We should see that in America, people are, at least, afforded the opportunity to manage and control their lives. So why do we see most African Americans unable to gain this control? Why are most A.A.'s communities still consider "ghettos"? Why are Black children not taking advantage of education? Why are Black Americans unable to obtain the American dream?

Is it America's fault? After all we were slaves for hundreds of years. Or is it the fault of lack of genuine leadership? Leadership that teach responsibility. Leadership that encourages education. Leadership that takes advantage of the opportunities in America. Now you may ask, what are the opportunities in America? Good question. Allow me to respond:

Leadership-ability to lead:an act or instance of leading;the leaders of a group.

Every group, organization, company, and people, MUST have leadership. Who do you think the president is and the people in our Congress? They are leaders.

Moreover, the following opportunities are available in America:education life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, freedom to speak, freedom of choice, freedom to say, yes my forefathers were slaves. They had no choice. But I am free today, and I have a choice. I choose to take advantage of the opportunities in the country that my forefathers helped to build. I am NOT a slave today.

Do you realize that yesterday is gone. Never forget it. But today is another day for the opportunities that are abound in America? What will you choose NOW?

Have a great Saturday. My daughter and myself are headed to Barnes & Noble to READ. Thereafter, to the park to PLAY.


L. for Love

Happiness is State of Mind-Day 35

Happy Friday to all. I am in the library typing this blog to post. I typed it earlier and it was lost. I take full responsibility for losing it because I should have learned by now. Learned that I need to write my blogs on a separate sheet of paper, then cut and paste my entry. This is probably my fourth time losing an entry, that I worked diligently to prepare. I should have learned by now but I (almost) guarantee that I will not let that happen again.

Moving right along:

Happiness is a state of mind. We can choose to be happy or we can choose not to be happy. The choice is ours and ours alone. Of course, I understand that there are intervening factors that directly influence our state of mind, but we choose the greatest influence.

Happy- delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing: characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy.

Happiness-the quality or state of being happy.

As the definition of “happy” clearly reveals it is “a state of mind”.

State of Mind- a temporary psychological state; the state of a person's cognitive processes.

I use to believe that in order for me to be truly happy, I needed to have all of the material possessions and wealth, my sub-conscious could imagine. I seriously believed that the only humans on the face of the earth, who were really happy, were the one with the material wealth. I was wrong. My former belief was immensely challenged when I met a gentleman from another country. Every time I saw this man, he had such a happy disposition even though he appeared, from my vantage, to have very little "worldly" means.

One day I conjured up enough courage to approach him. When I did, I kindly queried him about his happy disposition. He told me that most people in his country have little means, yet they know each other, they speak to each other, and they are, for the most part, happy. I pondered on his words for a moment, and I slowly looked around. I witnessed people with “worldly possessions”, frowning, not speaking to others, and constantly complaining, and finally I asked "this man" in jest….”can I go to your home country”?

Even though I was kidding with this man. It revealed to me that the luxuries of life , alone, will not make you happy. Your state of mind is much more important.

We have to believe in and love ourselves, independent of our circumstances, before we can truly "be happy".

What is your state of mind? Are you happy?
Have a great day.

L. for Love

My Father Died of Lung Cancer-Day 34

Happy Thursday to you. I wish you a wonderful day. May you smile more than you frown. "A smile is just a frown turned upside down, my friend...." (the Temptations-"Smiling Faces"). I feel really good when I am greeted with a smile rather than a frown, as though I have done something wrong. I find many people here in South Florida appear to have either straight faces (no expressions) or frowns, as opposed to just a nice welcoming smile. I choose to be happy, and I want to make as people happy as I can. I choose life.;)

My father passed away September 4, 2000. He was only sixty-five years old. It makes me very sad to think about it. I grew up in a nontraditional family, as a child, especially in the Black community. Most children that are raised by a single parent in the African American community, are reared by their mothers. We were reared by my dad, a strong Black man.

I do not even know where to start to tell you that my father died from lung cancer. But I will start from after I departed my father's house after I graduated from high school. I was seventeen (17) years old.

After my father had beat me and I left, my life went forward. I did not speak to my dad for a year or so, after the beating. Then we eventually reunited and I was his "baby girl" again.

My dad was a smoker most of his life. He told me, as a child, that he started smoking at the age of twelve. My father smoked the Kool Milds brand.

After my dad remarried, he continued working at Ford Motor Company, as a welder. My father was a smart man, he received only his high school education, but he had alot of "common sense", and USED IT. My dad use to tell me, "if more Black people would use just a little common sense, they would be alot better off. I did not understand his words then, but, my goodness, they make so much sense to me now. Many Black people do not use basic common sense.

My dad and I were very close. I spoke to him on the telephone almost daily, when I left Detroit. I returned to Detroit several times just to visit my dad. He would confide in me about his marriage, my siblings and his life in Detroit. He told me that he would love to one day come and live with me in Arkansas. My dad was ready for peace in his life. However, a sequence of events would intervene and bring my dad to my home and take his life much too early.

Prior to my dad being diagnosed with cancer, he was doing well. He was traveling. He traveled to Arkansas to visit with me and my family. He stayed in my home, during his visit. He would always remind me that I "was more like him than any of his children". (Thank you daddy). My father was very proud of me. (I can not say that I deserved this admiration, but I appreciated it.) He was proud to have a daughter as an attorney, while remembering how his father had only completed the third grade in school. Moreover, one day I received a call from my dad, telling me that he went to the doctor because of stomach pain, and the doctor told him of his impending death. He was told that he had about ninety days to live.

After this diagnosis and traditional treatment, my father lived lessed than ninety days(90). I begged my dad not to accept chemo-therapy and/or radiation treatment. These traditional treatments mostly destroy the body. I told my dad to have the surgery, instead, to remove the cancerous lung. But low and behold, his wife convinced him to have the traditional treatment. (chemo-therapy and radiation). My dad went from 240lbs to a mere 150lbs, at the time of his death. How do I know?

The last month of his life my dad demanded "I want to go to live with my daughter". He was referring to me. I flew my dad, my oldest sister, and her youngest son into Arkansas from Detroit to come and live with me. I asked my sister to come so she could help me with my dad, because I had to work, and I did not want him to be alone. It was a tumultuous household, but my dad was with me, where he wanted to be. I tried to make him as comfortable as I could. My sister was a big help. (Thank you Sis for helping me to take care of our father).

My father eventually died in my home, I was sitting next to him crying. He looked at me as he was in distress, as though he was telling me..."I am ready for this to end". The man who was the strongest link in our family chain, was gone. Time has revealed without my dad's strength and direction, the family would go awry.

As a side note, I would like to note that my father left me in charge of his estate. I was the Executor. He trusted that I would take care of his business for him, and I am glad to report that I did.

Rest In Peace Daddy. I have made it my mission to pass on the knowledge, the way you passed it on to your children. I want people to hear the alarm ringing. IT IS TIME TO WAKE UP.

Have a great day.

L. for Love

My Mother is very Ill-Day 33

Good morning. Happy Wednesday. May this day be all you want it to be and more.

On or about Friday, September 4, 2009, I look at my phone and to my surprise, there was a missed call. This missed call number was a Detoit, Michigan number. I look at my phone for a few seconds, thought to myself....who could be calling me? I do not get many calls from Michigan.

I slowly pushed the number on my IPhone (dislike this phone), to return the call to ascertain who was calling me and why. A lady answered the phone, and I immediately recognized the voice of that of my mother's. I did not instantaneously tell her who I was. I wanted to know if my mother would recognize my voice. I told her that I had received a call from this number and I was returning the call. She promptly asked me "who is this"..what is your name"?

I told her my name and she said....."oh my goodness, I have been looking and trying to get in touch with you, for a long time." She asked me ..."do you know who this is"? I replied that I did, and tears came to my eyes.

My mother shared with me that she had had several surgeries. She is now in a nursing home, with strangers, caring for her. She told me that she is very ill and she wants to see me. She expressed remorse for the way she treated me and for the deterioration of our relationship.

My mother is very ill, and she does not know how long she will live. I cried on the phone and wondered why did I allowed so much time to go by, without communicating with her. Prior to this call, I had not spoken to my mother in almost three(3) years. This is time I can never get back with her. But I have thought long and hard, and I know I want to see my mother.

Time-the system of those sequential relations that any event has to any other, as past, present, or future; indefinite and continuous duration regarded as that in which events succeed one another.

I have lost so much time with my mother. I can not turn back the hands of time, but I can do something about today. I want to see and spend time with her. I want to love her because she is my mother, the woman who gave birth to me.

I do not want my mother to be alone. I asked my mother about my siblings, and why she has to stay in a nursing home. You know what she told me?..."they don't have time..they have their own lives." This sounded awfully familiar. When will my siblings ever be responsible for someone other than themselves? My mother has five children, including me. FIVE. Why does she have to be in a nursing home?

I asked my mother about possibly coming to Florida. I told her we will talk about this and she should carefully consider it.

Please pray for my mom. We all have our own lives, but take a few seconds and pray for my mother. She is not well. She is very sick.

I am planning to visit my mother.

Thank you, and have a wonderful day.

L. for Love

Children Live What They Learn-Day 32

Happy Tuesday. This is another wonderful day, because I believe it is. The mind is truly powerful. It will believe whatever you convince it to believe. You make the choice. I choose life. What do you choose?

I have shared with you many experiences about my childhood. But I need to share with you my given disposition as a child. I was convinced that I was a "mean" little girl. My father, unbeknowing to him, had convinced me of this. How? Why?

Child-a person between birth and full growth; a boy or girl:

Mean-hostile, rude

When I was a child, my father would call me his "mean little red girl". My skin tone was light skinned, so that was the reference to red. But "mean", he called me this all of the time. As a matter of fact, I remember this word redundantly used by other members of my family as well to describe me. I do not know why my dad called me mean, I just remember this word used to depict me.

Please keep in mind that I was this little five year old child, and my dad proclaiming that I am mean. Was I suppose to ask...Dad why are you calling me mean? I just accepted what he said and I believed that I was mean. So I acted out the description of the label my dad had given me. I acted mean. I would not smile, and I basically stayed to myself. I was taught to be mean.

A child lives what she learns. I was not born mean. I was convinced at an early age that I was "mean spirited", so as I forementioned, I acted out. My disposition was that when I responded to people, they would know that I was "mean". Because, whatever you teach a child, that is what he/she will believe, and eventually live.

For all of my teenage life and up until I had my daughter, I fought this "mean" label. I now know that I am whatever that I believe that I am. I am love and I am not mean. I have love for my fellow man, my family, and all human beings on the face of the earth. I do not hate anyone. I finally convinced myself that I was NOT mean in adulthood.

Why am I sharing this with you? Good question. I am sharing this with you because children live what they are taught. When you witness African American children focusing on the rap music lyrics rather than reading, writing and Arith-Matic, you see them living what they have learned. Dancing, rapping and partying, appear to be more important than education, in their homes. Or you may notice that many of these children constantly fight. Many of them display lack of love because many of them do not know love. I know that I did not know love, as a child.

I repeat, children live what they learn. My daughter have visited different community centers where the children were primarily African Americans. What do most of these children do? insult eachother, instigate fights and display an attitude of contempt. Why? This is what they have learned from most of the adults that they emulate.

I refuse to take my daughter to a primarily A.A. school or community center. My daughter does not want to be at most centers with most A.A. children. Many of the children are violent. Most people will NOT admit this to you. But it is true. Why do you think when an A.A. parent is financially able to move out of a majority A.A. neighborhood, she/he take their children to a predominately Caucasian school? The Black parent is looking for some "order" and "respect", which is rarely found in A.A. schools. Why?

Again, examine the home life. Children are NOT born bad. They are not born violent. Children are love, but it is what they are learning in their homes and they emulate the behavior. When you see a troubled child. Most times,there is a troubled home life. The two generally go hand in hand. I had a troubled home life, as a child. My disposition of being "mean" was learned and displayed in my actions. This was who I was told that I was, and I believed it. Now let me say here that my father was not intentionally trying to hurt me. He reared his children the best way he knew how. My father's actions were based upon the knowledge he acquired. His actions were not diabolical. But ignorance can be a vicious cycle until someone, somewhere begins to question the events and ask.....WHY?

Why do I fight? Why do I insult people? Why do I laugh at others? Why do I intentionally want to hurt someone? Why don't I love?

Children live what they learn. What are children learning in your home?

Have a great day.

L. for Love

I Never Had a REAL Mother-Day 31

Good morning to you. I wish you happiness and prosperity. I hope this work week is all that you want it to be and more. Make it your very best.

In most of my writings, I have made mention of my father, the man who reared me and most of my siblings. He was my role model in many ways and in some ways, he was not. My mother abandoned our family when I was 10-11 years old.(somewhere in there) I am unsure of my exact age, but I vividly remember the night she left.

Her and my dad had been arguing. Then, we (the children) heard some violent bumping and extremely loud shouting. My mother ran out of the room, holding her head. She made a quick exit out of the front door. Her head was bleeding profusely. I tried to follow her, but she quickly demanded I return to the house. She promised she would return someday to get me. But she never did. I have always looked upon her conduct as particularly injurious to me and my siblings. We never had a real mother, in our home.

Mother-a female parent;to care for or protect like a mother; act maternally toward.

I remember very little about life with my mother. I don't remember receiving love from her. I remember that she always loved church more than her children. I remember the last time I saw my mother, prior to my adulthood, I was a child. She had very little, if any, influence in my life. In fact, for most of my life, I depised her, and sometimes would tell people, my mother was dead. Why?

Please listen to me as I share one of the most painful times in my life. I was a little girl that needed love. I did not receive much love as a child. My father was always working. He did the best he could, with what he had. But I am female, and a little girl needs her mother. I started my menstrual period, believing that something was wrong with me and that I was going to die. This was devastating for me to go through without a mother. I also went through my life believing that my mother did not want me or my siblings. She had moved on with her life and was happy to be without us.

I did not even speak to my mother much by way of the telephone. She did not call us much and when she did,the conversation was basically, "I miss you...I love you". What you love me, but you don't even take the time, to come and pick me up to spend time with me? I hear you you profess your love but I did not feel your love mother.

I did not have a mother as a child, and I did not receive enough love . When I finally saw my mother again, I was 21 years old. She called me one day, while I was working, and suggested we meet for lunch. I told her that I would "check my schedule", and get back with her. She immediately tried to scold me about "making time". I told her that she was "too late", to scold me, as I was "grown", and she could NOT tell me what to do. I abruptly snapped.."where were you when I was a child and needed you"?."I do not need you now." My mother began to cry on the telephone. I apologized for my hurtful words, and told her we should meet.

My mother and I did ultimately meet for lunch. She tried unsuccessfully to justify why she abstained from visiting her children all of those years. But I continued to grill her on her whereabouts. We eventually decided to take things slow, to allow for some much needed healing, to take place. Through years of communicating, we eventually became closer. I grew to "care" about her but I still did not feel that I loved her as I should have.

My mother and father had five children together, and I eventually became the only child that was helping my mother, when she needed assistance. My mother, for whatever reasons, was morbidly obese, for most of her adult life. She had, at one point, weighed in excess of 300 lbs. Sometimes her weight would balloon to 500 lbs or more. As my mother and I grew closer, I would send her money so that she could attend "Weight Watchers". I purchased her a treadmill, and other exercise acessories. I tried as much as I could to help and encourage her to lose the weight. But she was like a yo-yo, sometimes up and sometimes down. Her weight has never, to my knowledge, information, and belief, dropped below 250 lbs. I was there for her during some of these very difficult years of her life.

My other siblings did not do much to help her during this time. When I questioned my mother, she would tell me that "they" had their own lives, and she did not want to be a burden on them. But I knew different.

I knew that my mother have five (5) children, and not just one(1). We all should have helped her. But I carried most of this financial and emotional burden.

My mother eventually married an older man, who had retired from Ford Motor Company, like my father. He had a pension that he and my mother lived off for about ten years (10), or so, up and until his death. My mother told me about some of the comments, my stepfather would make about me. She said that he would say to her..."she is the only child that you have that helps you." Remember these words, because as the years past, my mother obviously forgot them. She did something to me, that to this very day, I have not completely forgiven her for.

But I know that I need to forgive, in order to truly love, and move on. I know that I need to heal. My mother is very ill now, and I know that I could lose her anytime.

Heal-to make healthy, whole, or sound; restore to health; free from ailment.

Forgive-to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.

Please show love to your children. They NEED Love. If they do not get it from you, they will seek it from other sources. Children NEED LOVE.

I love my children with all of my heart. I want them to feel and see the love, in my actions, not just hear my words.

Have a great day.

L. for Love

What Should Happen to Rep. Joe Wilson? Day 30

Good morning to you and may this be one of the most beautiful days of your life. Make your dreams a reality. Make your dreams come to fruition. The choice is yours. Never give up. Always be respectful to your fellow man/woman.

What is respect?
Respect-to show regard or consideration for:esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability.

When President Obama was addressing Congress regarding health care, Representative Joe Wilson, of South Carolina, a republican congressman, shouted at him. He intentionally interrupted the president by shouting out "You lie". So my questions are was this respectful, acceptable of a congressman of an opposing party? Is it acceptable for a congressman to blatantly disrespect the president of the United States?

Was Congressman Joe Wilson performing his statutory duties when he disrespected the president and the nation?

Congressmen are publicly elected officials of the United States government. They hail from each state and are responsible for making the laws that affect the lives of every citizen. Congressmen help decide many issues, including the federal tax rates, the minimum wage that employers must pay their workers, and how to spend the government's money.( According to E-How)

Responsibilities and duties
The U.S. Constitution clearly enumerates the responsibilities of Congress. They include regulating domestic and international trade, declaring war and maintaining and supporting the military.

Congressmen's duties vary according to their stature and party affiliation. Both of the two major political parties have a leader in each House (called either the majority leader or the minority leader, depending on which party has more members in the House). Party leaders are responsible for maintaining diplomatic relations with one another and with other branches of the government.
Each house also has many committees that focus on a particular responsibility. Some examples include energy, veterans' affairs, housing and foreign relations. Some committees have broad responsibilities, such as the Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation.

One of the most common duties of a congressman is act as a conduit between the federal government and the local authorities and residents of the areas they represent. A local police force, for example, might ask a congressman for help receiving money or other services from the Department of Justice. A local unit of a veterans' organization, such as the American Legion, might likewise ask a congressman for support in obtaining something from the Veterans Administration.

As clearly stated above, some of the duties and responsibility of the confressman are outlined. Now I ask again. Did the Congressman breach any of his statutory duties?

Is this the way we want our representatives to conduct themselves? If we encourage our children to be able to agree to disagree, should we accept less from the adults we pay to represent us?

Representative Joe Wilson, was clearly wrong for disrespecting the president. There is a time and a place for everything under the sun. But the time to inform the president that you disagree with him, is clearly not in the middle of his address to congress. Is this so difficult for a congressman to understand?

Congressman Wilson, you should be punished for your conduct just as we punish our children when they misbehave. You must not expect any different when you misbehave. You were wrong, and albeit, you apologized for your outburst. That does not abrogate the fact that you should accept responsibility for your conduct. You made the decision to shout out "you lie". You should accept a punishment that fits the ungentlemanly act. You breached your duty to maintain diplomatic relations with the president. Shouting at him during an address to congress is not diplomacy.

I only hope that the members of Congress has the courage to act.

Have a great day.

L. for Love

9-11 REMEMBERED

Our country tears of thee, sweet land of liberty.

I remember my exact location on September 11, 2001. I was in my car, taking my son to school. I remember hearing on the radio that a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center Towers. Almost immediately, terrorism came into my mind. But when the second tower was hit by another plane, terrorism was confirmed.

I cried like a baby. I could not believe what was happening to America. All of the lives lost. Mothers died, fathers died, and children died. Why? Most had just gone to work, thinking it would be just another day. The children were in their daycare, probably playing. Then all of a sudden, life was over, for over 3,000 people.

My family and I went to all of the 9-11 events we could find. We wanted to help, to do anything to be with our fellow Americans. During this time, ethnicity did not matter. We did not see Black, White, Hispanic or any other race. We saw other hurting human beings. We reached out to one another regardless of differences. We cried together. We hugged each other. We prayed for one another. This was a time when I can truly say that we stood together as a country. We were all Americans. We were truly our brother keepers.

But this posting is dedicated to all of the men, women, boy and girls who lost their lives on that fateful and horrid day. We pray for your families that you heal in peace and love. We lift up all of the heroes, the men, and women who searched endlessly for life in the mountains of debris and rubble. We lift you up as our heroes, as you placed your lives on the line for others to be saved.

To our soldiers, THANK YOU. You fought a good fight. You are my children heroes and millions of other Americans. WE LOVE YOU. Be safe and come home to your families, in one peace.

I am lost for words. This does not happen much. But when the human spirit is such that I do not see the prejudices of every day life, I am happy. I believe some people use our differences to pit us against each other because they know that if we just take time to communicate with one another, we will all realize that we have much more in common than dissimilarities.

But anyway, 9-11, will always be remembered in my heart, mind and soul. Thank you America the Beautiful.

Always Remember.


L. for Love

Are You Pretentious?- Day 29

Happy Friday. May this day be your best day yet. It is a wonderful day as long as you believe that it is wonderful. I woke up this morning with a reasonable amount of my health and strength. I have my baby girl with me. My son is in college, moving forward with his education. I am a proud mother of two of the most wonderful children in the world. I love all of you as well. I choose to love rather than to hate. I choose to smile rather than to frown. I choose life.

With that said. I would like to ask you a question. By now you may begin to see a pattern. An appetite for knowledge. I picked up this proclivity from my father. When I was a little girl, he stressed to his children that it was important to ask questions. He would encourage us to ask him questions. I vividly remember one time when I was about to ask him a question then I said to him”never mind”..? My father immediately snapped, and said to me “if you have a question, ask it. Do not be afraid to ask questions, it is the only way to learn.” I thought about this for a long time. My father was right. If you want to know something, what do you do? You ask a question in order to get the answer right? (smiling)

Moreover, this is how children learn best. If you observe and listen to them closely, children will ask the most earnest questions. They want to learn. Sometimes as parents, our patience is tried and we try to discourage so many questions, but this is who they are. Little curious humans.

I ask so many questions, because I sincerely want to know. I am curious, like a child, but serious about things I see and witness. Why? I constantly ask myself.

Why do Black people complain so much about discrimination when black on black crime is the larger problem? Why do Black so-called "leaders"…no I will not take the easy road, instead, I will name them today. Why do Jessie Jackson, and Al Sharpton, appear in the public domain more when there is an opportunity for a photo shoot than when black teens commit the most heinous crimes? Who really are the Black leaders? I honestly do not know. But I do know that this generation of young black people are mostly lost. We have young males that refuse to wear their pants pulled up to their waste. These young males are disrespectful. They can not read but they know about revealing their sexual encounters. Many of them have no job, but they have children by different women. And brag about it. Why don’t these "Black leaders" discuss these problems? Why are we pretending that our communities are not in a choatic state? Why are we pretending that, for the most, when a violent crime is committed, many Black people hold their breath and hope that the perpetrator is NOT again another Black. Why do we kill eachother? Why do most all of the businesses in the Black neighborhoods have bars on the windows? Why do Black males just “hang out” on street corners? Why do Black people not acknowledge these problems but instead turn away and pretend like they do not happen.

Reminds me of the emperor with no clothes. Everyone was lying to the emperor, telling him, how beautiful his robe was, until one child cried out…"hey mom, the emperor is naked." Every one lied to him except an innocent child.

Are You ready to accept the truth? Or, will you continue to lie to one another and accept the lies as truth?

Truth-

Have an absolutely wonderful weekend.

L. for Love

What is Responsible Health Care? Day 28

Good morning and happy Thursday. May this day be better than yesterday and more productive as well. Today is the best of my life. Because whatever I think, I can bring into existence. I am what I think I am, as you are what you think you are.

I must be responsible for my actions and the choices I make. So this brings me to today’s topic, responsibility. What is it really?

Responsible-answerable or accountable, as for something within one's power, control, or management; reliable or dependable.

Responsibility-the state or fact of being responsible.

As it was made clear yesterday, we all make choices, and what flow from our choices is our sole responsibility. If we take more personal responsibility, we all would be much better off. Let us examine an area of our life where we are primarily responsible.

Health:

This is a colossal topic right now, as President Obama addressed the Congress last night. Our president is trying to persuade Congress to implement a new health care bill which would overhaul the entire healthcare system in the country. This new health care plan supposedly would make health care affordable for all Americans.

While I do have my opinions on this specific subject, I will share them with you at a later date. However, for purposes of responsibility, I pose this question: Whose responsibility is it for the maintenance of your health? Now I am specifically referring to your daily health regimen. I am NOT speaking of when you or your family member succumbs to illness, and need immediate care.

What is your daily health regimen? Do you have one?

Or a better question may be, what do you do daily for your health and maintenance for you and your family? Do you and your family often eat out at fast food restaurants? Do you sit in front of the TV for more than three hours per day? Do you monitor your diet? Do you exercise a few times per week…month…or year? Do you exercise at all? Do you eat until you are full and ready to sleep? Do you eat fruits and vegetables? Do you know what the basic food groups are? Do you listen to your body? Do you monitor daily what your children eat? Do you drink sodas or water? How much?

When it comes to our health, we have more control than the government ever will. The government can not monitor every American’s daily diet. It can not make sure that we exercise either. We have to be responsible enough to know that good health and maintenance are really our responsibility. We can choose to live a healthy life or we can choose to live an irresponsible life of over indulging. The government can not give us good health. Impossible. Whichever lifestyle you choose, the responsibility is YOURS.

Now, if you are completely honest with me, while you and I are having this conversation, how would you answer this question, is your lifestyle healthy or unhealthy?

The responsibility is really yours.

Have a great and exciting day.

L. for Love

What is Choice? Day 27

Good morning to you and may this day be as bright for you as Florida’s sun. And you should know that Florida has a very bright sun. I have already spent about two hours on a blog that has vanished again into thin air. It was lost, but I must move forward.

Today’s topic is choice. What is choice?

Choice-power to select; selection

I am responsible for the choices I make for my family and myself. Just as, you are responsible for the choices you make. I am not responsible for your choices nor are you responsible for mine.

This is important. If choice is the power to select, it is also the power not to select. I have made many choices in my life, some good and some not so good. Such is the case as when I chose to take additional classes in high school, so that I could graduate early rather than go to the dances on Fridays. I eventually graduated a year early from high school. I also chose to attend law school rather than hang out at clubs or waste my time doing other unfruitful activities. These are some of the choices I made. What choices have you made?

All of the choices that I have made have not been good. I have made some very bad choices, but I take full and complete responsibility for all of my choices. I blame no one but me.

It is critical to consider your options when making choices. We must make choices about where to live and raise our children. Just to name a few. We make choices about interceding to improve our lives, in terms of enjoying certain mundane possessions. Or we can make a choice to take possessions from others. These are choices. When someone steals, it is a choice. We can either earn the money to afford our own possessions or we can take from others what we have not earned ourselves. The same is true when someone neglects his/her children, it is a choice. If our children are illiterate, it is a choice because help is abound.

Many immigrants die trying to come to America. Why? Because of the freedom to choose to work hard and make a life of one’s choosing. Then why are so many Black people suffering from lack of education and jobs skills? Why I ask? Immigrants can come here and be more successful than many Black people that were born here and lived here their entire lives. Why? What are some of the natives doing wrong? Is it because their skin color is darker? Please tell me. I want to know why is it that foreigners can come to America, work hard and become very successful but many of us still live in poverty. Many are illiterate, poor, hungry, and neighborhoods in shambles. Why?

Can we consider that the answer lies in the choices we make vs. the choices some of the foreigners make? What choice will you make?

Have a great day.

L. for Love

Can We Talk? Day 26

Good morning and may your day be full of wonderful blessings. The question above is meant literally. Can we talk? This is what a former talk show host use to ask at the introduction of her program. I thought it was an interesting question.

Can we talk?

The reason I ask it is that in this day and time of political correctness, most people abstain from candidly speaking about what is really on their minds. They do not want to offend so instead they mendaciously speak. But honest scrutiny is good, as along as it is not done in a spirit of meaness. I believe that it is very important to allow for scrutiny and it is much more challenging to tell someone the truth than to misspeak. For example:

Why did President Obama's skin color matter in the Presidential election? Is it just because he is mixed with African (black)? Or is it that being Black is associated with a negative connation, and if it is why? It is because we were former slaves? Or, did it have more to do with Black people present affliation? Is being Black associated with more positive or negative attributes?

This is a very important question that I constantly asked myself during the presidential election. Quite a few of the "political pundits" would write that President Obama had most everything going for him, except his skin color.

But what does his skin color represent? Does it represent that most of the violent crimes in America are committed by Blacks? Does being Black represent illiteracy? Does it represent poverty and needing government asistance? Why?

Why was his race an issue? Are most people in America racist and just hate and/or dislike A.A. solely on the color of skin? Can we talk?

Can we ask questions that may offend but allow each of us to openly ventilate? Can we look eachother in the eyes and openly exchange opinions instead of pretending that everything is A-OK?

Is it OK to ask questions? As a matter of fact, I think it is great. Because it opens the door for an honest dialogue. Communication is the only way to solve problems and get an understanding of differences. Why do you think the United Nations was created? It is a forum by which nations can sit down, discuss differences, and ultimately solve problems.

If open discussions can be executed on a global level, I am sure that we can intelligently discuss our differences and/or problems on a national level. Now, of course, there will always be some people who would try to use the forum for their own personal agenda. But for the most part, people can be respectful, open and honest. The truth may hurt or be uncomfortable. But we need to hear and deal with the truth. This way we can truly heal, as a nation. Because in reality, we are our brothers keepers. Whether Black, White, Hispanic or any other ethnic group. In America, we are all for one and one for all. Or are we?

Can we talk?

Have a great day.

L. for Love

California Wild Fires-WHY?-Day 25

Happy Friday. I hope this is one of the best days of your life. Love and enjoy every minute of life. It is too short for us to be angry and unhappy. I refuse to live that way. So I share a part of me with you.

Today, I must discuss and/or comment about the wild fires some sick person set ablaze in California. WHY? What type of person would intentionally set out to destroy people lives? I can not fathom that any human being could do this. I am sick and disgusted by the thought of these fires being intentionally set. Two firemen lost their lives. We should all pause for a moment of silence for them and all of the people working so hard to put the fires out. More lives could be lost before it is over.

I must share with you that I am truly lost for words. I do not know what to write that could possibly ease the pain of the people running for their very lives and the property that they probably worked their entire lives to obtain. Destroyed. But Why? I do not know the answer to this question. I can only think and allow the tears to flow from my eyes. I do not understand why we hate. Why some of us set out to hurt others. I do not know. But.............

I would like to help. If anyone out there know where we may be able to send some can goods or other nonperishable items, please let me know. I do not have much, but I will share the little I have. We are all in this together, albeit most of us do not realize this.

Please take time out of your busy schedule and say a prayer for each and everyone that is and has been affected by the wild fires in California. People are hurting. Lives have been lost, and may be lost in the future.


Have a wonderful weekend.

God save us from ourselves.

L. for Love

Children and the lack of Great Expectations-Day 24

I would like to bestow on everyone an absolutely happy Thursday. What a beautiful day. I love life, and I thank God for my family, reasonably good health and a kind spirit. I love my family, and I love you too. Moving forward.

Do you know what expectations are?

Expect-to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the coming of: to look for with reason or justification.

Expectations-an expectant mental attitude;the act or the state of expecting.

We all have expectations of one another. We have expectations of our children, our spouse and/or significant other, our superiors, and our leaders. It is well established that we all have some level of expectations. The primary question for today is what are the expectations for our children?

Do you expect greatness from your children? Do you expect them to attend school, come home, complete their homework prior to participating in extracurriculars activities? Or do you expect them to attend school, and neglect their school work? Do you expect the teachers and school administrators to acquiesce and rear your children? Or do you accept responsibility for your children and expect your children to follow school rules because they are reared in your home?

These are some poignant questions. Let analyze them.

Children are primarily like sponges. They soak up whatever they learn and wherever the indoctrination is taught. Whether good or bad. There are, of course, some exceptions to this general rule. Some children have various disabilities, which may prevent them from learning in traditional settings. But in general, children will learn what they are taught. It is natural. The only question is what will children learn and who will teach them? The Bible speaks of a how a child should be reared:

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.(Proverbs 22:6 ESV)

Children must be trained.

Train-to develop or form the habits, thoughts, or behavior of (a child or other person) by discipline and instruction: to make proficient by instruction and practice.

Who are teaching the children? Who is the very first teacher of our children? Anyone want to take a stab at this one? Of course, it is the parents. We are our children's first and most important teacher. We should have the most influence on our children. We should have the greatest expectations for our children. More than anyone else in the world. Do we?

When I visit libraries, I usually notice children and what they are engaged in. I usually see the African American children on the computers either listening to music, playing u-tube videos, or games. Seldom, if at all, do I see these children reading books. On the other hand, most of the Caucasian and Hispanic children are reading or researching. Then I think to myself, no wonder most of the A.A. schools produce F grades. If the children spend the majority of their time listening to music and playing games. What else can you expect? There is that word again. Expect. What do most African Amercan parents expect from their children? Do most of these parents help their children with homework? Do they listen to their children read? Do they expect their children to properly sit in their chairs? Do most of them really care? Do they capitulate? It is not about words, it is about action that is produced. I believed this was clearly established on my blog yesterday. In other words, someone can say that I love my children and will do anything for them. But what does the action of this person produce?

What I see is a generation of children basically rearing themselves, with very little, if any, love. These children are growing up learning to be very hard and mean spirited. But what else do we expect? If the children are in a primarily A.A. school, the expectations are very low. Why? It is as though because they are black, we automatically lower the bar and expect failure. Why do we expect these Black children to fail? I see a generation of Black children failing because the expectation has been set very low. These children are lost. Just visit libraries in inner cities. Observe the Black children using the computers to play games and watch videos. Most of these Black children can not speak in complete sentences, nor can most of them read on their grade level, if they can read at all.

My heart breaks. When some of these children hear my daughter speak, they say she sound "white". What? Do you mean to tell me that because my daughter can speak in complete sentences, and properly enuciate her words, she sounds white? So intelligence is associated with being Caucasian and unitelligence is associated with being Black. This is insane. My daughter and I practice on her reading skills daily. It takes alot of work. My daughter wants to play games on the computer but I expect her to complete her studies first then she can play later. Prioritize.

What are your expectations for your children? Teach them what you want them to learn. Do not capitulate and depend on the school system to educate them. Do not depend on the school to rear your children. Expect the best from your children and help them to soar like an eagle. Children do what is expected of them. We must raise the bar for our children. Let them know that we love and expect the best and we will NOT expect anything less. EXPECT GREATNESS.

Teacher-a person who teaches or instructs.

Have a wonderful day.

L. for Love

Excuses Are Easy-Day 23

Good morning to all:

I hope this day is the greatest of all. We can make this day an absolutely wonderful one. With that said, today, I will be responding to a comment someone graciously posted. Thank you all for taking the time to read the Honesty Project. I love you all.

Before, I respond to this post, I must discuss excuses. What is an excuse?

Excuse-to release from an obligation or duty; is an explanation offered to justify or obtain forgiveness.

Basically, we can give or offer an excuse for whatever we do or don't do. The bottom line is productivity. In other words, if I tell you that I need to lose weight, and I do absolutely nothing but make excuses, I accomplish nothing. The bottom line is what action am I taking to produce the weight loss? I can give you all of my excuses..oh I ate too much yesterday...or even,... I don't have the time to exercise. The result of my excuses will be the fat or extra weight on my body. Bottom Line.

Produce-to bring into existence; give rise to; cause ;to bring forward; present to view or notice

Action must produce the desired results. This applies to anything, within reason and logic. This fact is an inconvenient truth. NO EXCUSES. If we want specific results, we must take specific action. Let me give you another example.

Say, Little Johnny can not read, he is illiterate. First, we identify the problem. Little Johnny can't read. What is the desired result? We want Little Johnny to learn how to read. What action must be taken for Little Johnny to learn to read? Can you tell me the answer? It is not hard, you do not need a college degree to figure out that in order for Little Johnny to read, he must practice on his reading skills. He must read. NO EXCUSES. Now, on the other hand, if Little Johnny does not practice reading, he will remain illiterate. It does not matter what rational, reason, and/or excuse, you have for not either reading with him or getting him help. If no action is taken to help Little Johnny learn to read, he will remain illiterate. Bottom Line.

Action-the process or state of acting or of being active

Action produce results. Excuses produce nothing.

Results-to spring, arise, or proceed as a consequence of actions, circumstances, premises, etc.; be the outcome.

With that said, I will now respond to the post.

Reader: "plethora of reasons".

Response: Excuses.

Reader: book store closed for .."fairly obvious reasons"..

Response: the bookstore closed because the residents in the area and beyond did not patronize it. No store can survive without paying customers. In addition, the food was reasonably price, and by reasonable I mean $3-7 per plate. They would easily spend this at McDonald's. Also note that African American women are the most over weight of any ethnic group in America. Clearly, the time is now to think about what we are consuming.

Reader: "reading is truly a luxury that some people just can't afford"

Response: Please allow me to remind you that some of these same people spend literally thousands on rims for cars. Many of them spend money on fancy clothes, hair and nails. Be also reminded that the people in the neighborhood were not the stores only customers. Black patrons from other areas could have visited and purchase books and food, from this store. It is a matter of priority. And yes, I have visited the bookstore and purchased books from same. NO EXCUSES.

Reader: "Why are Florida schools failing"?

Response: I never said Florida schools were failing. I specifically mentioned that most schools in the Liberty City area are failing. In terms of the reader giving the excuse that people who live in "impoverished" areas give less importance to education. This rationale gives credence to my point. The areas are impoverished because most of the people are uneducated. Books are everywhere. They can learn to read and write just like the people in Maine.:) But again, it is about taking affirmative action, and not excusing lack of action. NO EXCUSES.

Reader: "Mentality during slavery thing? That's a stupid question."

Response: stupid-not intelligent; irresponsible

The question is clearly not stupid. The only question that is stupid, if any, is the one that is NOT asked. The only way to obtain knowledge is to ask questions. It is a proven fact that Black people accomplished more together during slavery and segregation/civil rights periods than we do as a group now. If anyone can dispute this premise with facts, please, I challenge you. I stand ready to debate you in an open and public forum. Bring facts. I will not respond to name calling and/or insults. That is clearly a waste of time and unintelligent. I will, however, factually debate and/or articulate my position on any subject on which I may have limited knowledge:)

NO EXCUSES. I PROMISE.

Have a great day.

L. for Love

Ant Mentality vs. Crab Mentality-Day 22

Good morning and may each of you have a wonderful and blessed day. I love you all. I do not want to grow old alone. I want to have a special man in my life. I have a special friend but I am trying to ascertain where this is actually going. Love and sharing is critical for me as I hope it is for you. Some people may feel comfortable being alone but I would much rather have my own husband to cuddle with, share my day, and to keep me warm in the wee hours of the morning.

However, I would much rather be alone than to be with any man that has absolutely no goals, no job and of course no intellectual stimulation. Been there. Done that. I am not interested in going backwards but moving straight ahead. I do not want a man that will pull me down but rather help me to reach the star. I do not want a man that requires me to motivate him constantly but instead we should motivate and encourage eachother. Moreover, today I must discuss the various mentalities that I come into contact with on a daily basis.

Are you familiar with the ant mentality and/or the crab mentality? Allow me to elaborate.

Ant mentality-Ants work hard. They work together for the good of the collective group. They are efficient workers that make sure that the colony is protected. Every ant must work and have their own specified job. They make sure their support system is in place.

Crab mentality- (sometimes also described as "crab in a bucket syndrome") describes a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither can you." The metaphor refers to a pot of crabs. Singly, the crabs could easily escape from the pot, but instead, they grab at each other in a useless "king of the hill" competition which prevents any from escaping and ensures their collective demise. The analogy in human behavior is that of a group that will attempt "pull down" (negate or diminish the importance of) any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of jealousy or competitive feelings. (Wiki definition)

Most African Americans here in South Florida that I have come into contact with have the latter, the crab mentality. They do not want to see anyone move ahead. In fact, they will go out of their way to prevent success of others at all cost. I have personal experience with both of these mentalities. But mostly the latter when I have dealt with A.A. I have much more success when I deal with Caucasians and Hispanics. This is a sad but true statement.

Just go to Liberty City in Miami. Liberty City is located in the area of 62nd and NW 7th Avenue. Most businesses are controlled and operated by other ethnicities. My first question is why? Black neighborhoods are the only areas you can visit and not see majority black businesses. Go to Hialeah, and see if Blacks are running stores in that area. NOT. Go to Aventura and see who dominates and control the economics in this area.

This is my question, and I challenge anyone to intellegently and factually answer this question. Why don't blacks control the economics in their neighborhood?

A well known bookstore, in this area, recently shut its dooors. It was forced to close because of lack of customers. This bookstore sold all kinds of black history and other books and much more. They offered edible material and a healthy cuisine. But they could not generate enough income to keep their doors open. Why? I will give you the clear and concise answer. It may not be nice and pretty or even sound good but it is factual and true and it can not be logically or factually disputed. The people in this area did not patronize this bookstore. They have the crab mentality. They would much rather see others succeed as oppose to their own. These people would much rather patronize businesses that take their money out of their neighborhood. Go and look for yourself at the area. It is poverty stricken. Most of the homes are government funded and dilapidated from neglect. Most schools in the area are given F(s) by the state of Florida. Why?

If you are in another state, just pull up Liberty City, a section in the city of Miami. Google should give you the demographics of the area.

It is time for us to openly discuss these serious ills rather than close our eyes and pretend like the problems don't exist. Acknowledgment is the only way that we will come up with solutions. A problem must first be acknowledged before it can be solved. Where is Jessie Jackson or even Al Sharpton? I pose these questions to them. Why do most Black people have the crab mentality? What happened to the ant mentality we had in the days of slavery and segregation?

Which mentality do YOU have?

Have a great day.

L. for Love