Daddy, Truth and Consequences-Day3

August 13, 2009

Happy Thursday. This is day three of my project to tell the truth and nothing but. Yesterday, I ended by sharing with you that my sister D2 had threatened to tell my father that I had called her, "a black bitch".

Well, when my father returned home, D2 kept her promise and spilled the beans on me. My father approached me slowly with his eyes harshly gazed upon me. It was as though, my words "I don't care", had offended his fatherly ego. The austerity of his voice itimidated me as he asked "did you call D2 a "black bitch"? I responded with an alarmed and unequivical "yes". And "did you tell her that you didn't care if she told me"? Again, I told the truth by humbly responding "yes". Before I could elaborate , my father had struck me, with his fist, and hit me so hard, I am unsure, to this day, if I hit the floor. I do remember that he hit me on my head, in my face, and in some areas in my back. I do not remember how long this real-life nightmare went on. I just knew, after the beating had ended, that it was time for me to leave my disfunctional family life and try to find "my own way" in the world.

I must emphasize here that prior to my departure from my father's home, I had learn the most essential qualities for self preservation. My father had instilled in me that I should have selfworth, education is critical to a productive life, that people must be willing to accept and live by the decisions they make, the value of using good common sense, and I was more "like him than any of his children".

Thank you daddy. I loved you so much. You taught me so much that you earned the credit for my education. You were the most inspirational person of my life. Most black people grow up in homes where the mother is the head of household. We were raised by a strong black man. So I know they exist. But it is like a needle in a hay stack, strong black men are far and few between. Thank you daddy.

I left my father's home sometime in June, after I graduated from highschool, and I had never returned to live, even upppp until his death, in September, 2000. The beating by my dad set the tone for a strained relationship for many years between us.

Moreover, after I left my father's home, I moved to my step grandfather's home on the eastside of Detroit, Michigan. My step grandfather B., we will call him. B. was an elderly man that worked everyday. He lived upstairs in the two family flat that my father owned. It was a two bedroom home. He had a bedroom, and I took the other. I placed a lock on my door to prevent any possible intruders and/or his visitors, in my absent.

I eventually got a job at Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Michigan, with my dad's help. My father had spoken to people, about his unemployed, "independent" daughter and I landed a job at BCBS, I was only 17. BCBS was a dream job and place to work from many people's belief. But me, I was unsure as to what I would do there except work and complete my responsibilities.

I remember that being "independent" carries more responsibilities. I had to learn that if I wanted to keep this BCBS job, I had to be dependable and complete the tasks that were given to me. My work schedule was five days per week between 7-3p.m. I worked this schedule up and until the day I left, which was 5 years later. I learned alot there and would like to take this opportunity to say "thank you BCBS of Michigan family", wherever each of you may be. You contributed in giving me my start in learning that each of us must take responsibility for our own life and our actions.

I eventually went on to college. As a matter of fact, I was the first in my immediate family, to attend college. I eventually went on to receive my A.A., B.A. and a Juris Doctorate Degree. All of my formal education was received in Detroit, Michigan. I am proud of this fact. I know for a fact that if I can make a decision, not to be illiterate, anyone can. I mean this with all of my heart. We all make choices and we must take responsibilty for the choices that we make.

Have a great day. I love you. You are my fellow human being. Please encourage your friends and family to take this journey and participate in upcoming thoughtful and provoking debates.

L.