The Truth About my Daughter T. Day 8

You will not believe this. I just spent maybe 1 1/2 hours writing the entry about my daughter, and it was deleted. I am so disappointed right now. I have to try and rewrite what I had already written. But here goes.

Prior to my exit from Detroit, Michigan, my son's dad filed a Child Visitation case against me to see our son. He preferred to use the bureaucratic system over negotiating with me. I had accorded C visitations with our son. But C was spiteful because he knew that I did not want my son to emulate him. I intentionally limited C's contact with my son. Moreover, after my divorce from A, I said good bye to Detroit. I moved to Arkansas, where I have relatives on my father's side of the family. I moved for the sole purpose to protect my son from the misfortune of having an uneducated father. I would NOT turn over my son to the streets of Detroit. NO WAY NO HOW.

I made plans to study for the Arkansas bar exam, to become an attorney. I eventually became an attorney with the assistance of some good people in Little Rock,Arkansas. I 'd like to give a shout our to these people who assisted me, in my time of need. They had a safety net in place. When I initially arrived in Little Rock, I secured living arrangements with the paralegal of the attorney who employed me. This attorney, we will call her Mrs. C. However, shortly after, I passed the bar, I became a sole practitioner. This means that I was the only attorney in my firm.

slowly but surely, I began to make good money and eventually I bought a dependable vehicle and moved to an adequate apartment in the Little Rock area. My son and I were finally making visible progress. Moreover, I would from time to time visit my family in the Pine Bluff area of Arkansas.

While visiting this area one day, I met a handsome man. This man walked into a store, where I was making a puchase. He followed me to my car, and inquired of me if I could assist him with a problem. I gave him a business card and told him to contact me. Unbeknown to me that one day this handsome and adoring man, would be the father my daughter.

We will call him JJ for purposes of these entries. JJ was handsome, strong and alluring. He was very considerate and we eventually loved one another. What I still, to this day, like about JJ, is the fact that he is no thug. He consistently wears his pants pulled upon his waist, with a belt to secure them. He did not disrespect me with vulgar language, unless he was very angry, at me. Then he would burst with anger. JJ was more often than not, thoughtful and caring. He accepted me for me. He wanted me to be comfortable and happy in our relationship. JJ did not have much formal education,but he was brilliant when it came to electronics. He could build a radio or any other electronic equipment from scratch. He could also fix and/or repair anything around the house. I had my own personal handyman.

JJ would also cook. I did not like to cook or clean. JJ did not have a problem assisting me with these gratuitous activities. He would cook and he would clean. I loved this. But sometimes JJ had problems controlling his emotions. He would grab on me when we did not see eye to eye. JJ is a pretty big man. He is a former highschool football star. We tried to work on the personal problems we had. I was with JJ on and off for almost 10 years. To date, it was the most enduring relationship that I have had. We produced a beautiful daughter. JJ and I never married. He asked me to marry him intermittently, but I declined. I believe that I needed someone that I could relate more to on an intellectual basis. I loved JJ dearly but sometimes I felt that he did not fully understand me. Occasionally, I would try to discuss current world and/or political events with him. JJ was more interested in the next football game. We eventually began to grow apart. I was not lacking for anything with JJ but mental stimulation. JJ rarely gave me mental stimulation. But I loved him.

Thank you JJ for our daughter and everything you have done for me. You were never manipulative or conniving. I am sorry that I could not be what you needed me to be in your life. But I wish you much love and success. Be happy JJ, you deserve it. Our daughter loves you so much. She needs you to always to be a part of her life.

Eventually,I felt I was compelled to leave Arkansas, and JJ would not see his daughter for 3 years.

We must take responsibility for our own actions or lack thereof.

Have a great day.

L. for Love